The little things

Recently, through various conditions that I currently am experiencing, I've been trying to realize what is REALLY important to me in life. Now, over the last few weeks I have experienced a larger degree of anxiety than I am really accustomed to. I'm not going to go into detail as to what the source of my concern is, that is for a later post that will be more like a therapy session than a blog entry. Needless to say, it is a problem (person) that has haunted me from childhood and doesn't look like it will ever get any better (and it isn't sexual in nature for those that don't know who I'm referring to). But still, going back to my post about taking things for granted, I didn't realize how lucky I was not to have to wake up every day with a giant knot in my stomach. So again, with my current situation, I have been assessing the things that I value most in life.

More and more, my thoughts go back to the simple things, rather than the long labored-for moments of accomplishment, or the rush of attaining a long awaited ambition. Although most people tend to have a goal-oriented lifestyle, it is my belief that those that find pleasure and contentment in the things they enjoy every day are the people that know what happiness really is. So lately, my mentality has been leaning toward enjoying the little things as much as I can: a good movie while eating your favorite candy from childhood, a sunset that hits the sky at the right angle to produce nearly every color of the rainbow, the familiar touch of someone you care about, the breeze and smell of fresh air that pours through your car window on a day that is just starting to feel the embrace of spring.

Now I'm sure I couldn't sound like more of a homo if I tried to describing these things. But still, regardless of where it comes from, it is these simple pleasures that can give wonder and experience and amazement to each and every day. How we interpret life shapes our perception, and therefore can determine our actions and opinions. Sometimes we need to step back, take a look at the big picture, and see what REALLY matters to us, to our lives, and to those that we care about.

So while the little things can drive us to enjoy the great marvels of the world around us, we also have to be aware of the negative impact of the wrong type of little things. These little things are the ones that have no bearing in our life. no bearing on our opportunities or judgement, or our experiences or principles. These are the little things that people blow out of proportion and they somehow turn into bigger things. I have come into contact with several people who love to dwell on the negative, or "glass is half empty" people. I listen to their grievances, try to address their problems, offer them positive solutions or paths of less resistance. But no matter what solace you offer them, they are so fixated on the little things that the big picture somehow misses them entirely. A good example of this that most people can relate with is the dissolution of a relationship, and how often the root of the original argument that led to the downfall can be as simple as not leaving the toilet seat down.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while the little things can fill our days with joy and open your mind and heart to the many wonders the world has to offer, to focus and dwell on them can only bring unhappiness and discomfort. Often times when things happen that seem terrible, if we take a step back, look at the big picture, our angst and disappointment are usually rooted in a very simple need that isn't being fulfilled, and it really isn't that big of a deal.

Cherish the ones you love, don't focus on their negatives. Enjoy the pleasures you can find throughout the day instead of focusing on the obstacles you encounter. Forgive those who have wronged you instead of seeking justification or revenge. Trust in karma, if you have good intentions, right action will find you. Keep in perspective the luxuries you enjoy and learn to find happiness even without them. Most of all, seek out people with hearts that are true, and keep them close to you, for they will help you weather the storm when all seems lost.

I know at times I play the role of the cynic. I will not leave this without mentioning the naivete of not seeing past the intention of little things, at least in terms of action. If someone is consistently leaving the toilet seat up, then it is an issue of consideration. If someone seems to always put their needs above others, then it is selfishness. If you must dwell on the little things in action, then deal with the root problem, don't focus on the small action itself. Even so, I think the world would be a better place if everyone stopped now and then to enjoy a sunset.

Tom Pain